


The Hammock District

by allmilhouse



Category: A.P. Bio (TV)
Genre: Getting Together, M/M, Office Sex, hammock sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-02 00:18:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14532543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allmilhouse/pseuds/allmilhouse
Summary: AU where drywall supports human weight. Staying late at the school one night, Jack discovers Durbin has a hammock in his office, and Durbin learns that Jack is a classic lover





	The Hammock District

“Hey Ralph, I just finished up and- what the hell? Did you get a sex hammock?” Jack Griffin’s voice rose an octave as he finished his question. He had come into Principal Ralph Durbin’s office to say he had wrapped up all the parent-teacher interviews and was finally heading home, when he was taken completely by surprise.

There was a hammock stretching diagonally across a corner of Ralph’s office, and the man himself was lying in it, in what appeared to be an undershirt, boxer shorts, and for some reason argyle socks.

Ralph yelped. “Don’t come any closer! Let me just, uhh.” He tried to hide himself and get out of the hammock at the same time- two tasks that were mutually exclusive. The hammock swung from the movement and he flailed a bit, still trying to get one of his short legs to find solid ground.

Amused, Jack ignored Ralph’s plea and stepped forward, helping weigh the hammock down and hold it steady enough for the flustered principal to stand up again.

“Thanks,” Ralph mumbled, still very embarrassed. He crossed his arms, and looked at the ground, afraid to meet Jack’s gaze.

“So what brought this on?” Jack asked, examining the hammock, oblivious to Ralph’s discomfort. “Are you some kind of hedonistic hammock man?”

Ralph blushed even harder. "No, I- it's something I always wanted to have at the house, but Brenda didn't like it. Since the divorce, I've been trying more things, but it's hard, not having the house anymore. It's supposed to be a backyard hammock."

Jack smiled appreciatively. "No, I like it. The office hammock. Very casual. I didn't think you had it in you."

"Really?" Ralph couldn't hide the pride in his voice, but Jack didn't comment on it.

"Yeah, Ralph. Mind if I try it out?" Jack was already stripping off his cardigan and crawling into it before Ralph could finish saying yes. Jack stretched out, closing his eyes. "Oh man, this is relaxing. You've stumbled onto something exceptional here." 

"I'm glad you like it," Ralph squeaked in reply before wincing. He loved Jack, and did his best to impress him whenever he could, but he didn't want to be so obvious about it. He looked down at the floor again, before noticing something else obvious. Coach Novak had come and complained to him before about Jack's sweatpants, and how they basically put Jack's penis on display. Ralph had never noticed before, but he couldn't help but stare now.

Jack clearly had an erection. Ralph had no idea how to react. This was simultaneously everything he had hoped for, and one of his biggest fears. Jack yawned, still completely oblivious to Ralph's growing discomfort. He sat up, and looked seriously at Durbin.

"You've got one fine hammock here. It's a shame Brenda never cared for it, because this thing looks perfect for two."

"R-really?" Ralph asked, still distracted.

"Yeah, hop on up, I'll show you," Jack said, and Ralph obeyed without even thinking about it. As soon as his back hit the fabric, he knew he made a mistake. He was always agreeing with whatever Jack suggested, and he was always telling himself he needed to be firm and resist from now on- a rule he kept breaking.

But now he was side by side with the man, their bodies fully touching the whole way down. Jack had exaggerated a bit, as two people did fit, but it was fairly snug. But there were two things Jack Griffin would never do- teach biology, and admit he was wrong.

"See? Perfect fit!" he exclaimed, turning to Ralph, whose face was now as red as humanly possible. "Hey, what's the problem? You've got a nifty office hammock, you shouldn't be so stressed." Jack shuffled awkwardly to sit up so he could take off his t-shirt, and rubbed it on Ralph's forehead. "Here, you're sweating, like really badly." 

Ralph groaned. This whole thing was spiralling way out of hand- his whole life had been, honestly. Not much had seemed to make sense these last few months, except how he felt about Jack. And well, maybe this was the universe giving him a sign, or maybe it was one hell of a coincidence, but when you're squished in a hammock with a man you have feelings for, and he's shirtless and mopping up your flop sweat, you probably should make your move.

"There, that looks better, well sort of," Jack concluded, appraising his work and tossing his shirt carelessly into the corner. He smiled approvingly at the determined look on Ralph's face. "At least you don't look like a rejected Charlie Brown cartoon. Hammocks can solve anything-"

Ralph cut him off by kissing him, chastely and somewhat hurried. He pulled back almost instantly, like he wished he could take back the whole thing. His face was a mix of triumph and hesitance, waiting for Jack's reaction. Mercifully, Jack smiled.

"What took you so long? I really thought you'd try to pop off on me sooner."

"Pop off?" Ralph asked, confused, but never got his answer as Jack kissed him again, this time slower and more confidently. It was different, being kissed by someone who knew how to kiss really well. Ralph only had Brenda as a recent point of reference, and they hadn't kissed in well over a year. Pushing thoughts of his former wife out of his head, Ralph tried to focus on the moment. Jack's hands, removing their remaining clothes except for Ralph's socks ( _"You look kinda cute just in socks," Jack explained_ ). Jack's tongue, tracing an intricate trail from Ralph's ears to his belly button, and threatening to go further, only to stop when Ralph proved to be too ticklish. They laughed together, the hammock shaking from side to side, causing them to laugh even harder.

____________

They were still laughing, the next day at lunch, when Mary, Michelle, and Stef walked into the teacher's lounge.

"Hey Durbs, Harvard Jack," Stef nodded at them. "What's so funny?" 

"Oh, we were just talking about becoming swingers," Ralph answered, oblivious to the four teachers spitting out their coffee in shock.

**Author's Note:**

> I can't...write an ending. Or write at all, really. I started writing this 20 minutes after the s1 finale bc maaaan, that episode. If anyone out there ships these two, PLEASE come up with something better.


End file.
